Many times it is important to be the first to file in a divorce case because the District Judges who hear the cases hear them regularly and it is best to grab their attention by presenting your case first. Because you file the divorce, that allows you to present your case to the Judge and/or Jury before the other side has an opportunity to present witnesses. This can be a strategic move and will not be viewed as you instigating the divorce, as there are always two parties involved in a divorce at a minimum.